To celebrate The Hazards of Sex on the Beach release, I have fourteen amazing romance writers stopping by over the next few weeks to share their awkward or "hazardous" dating stories.
Today I have J. Kenner, Carly Phillips, and Caisey Quinn!
J. Kenner
The
Hazards of First Dates
So there I am, in all of my sixth grade glory. Slightly chubby with stringy hair, more than
a few zits, and more than a little shyness to battle.
But there he was, also slightly awkward (because who isn’t
in sixth grade, really?) and he liked me.
He really liked me! (Let’s call
him Larry, shall we. Names have been
changed to protect the innocent.)
In that romantic way of middle graders, we started to “go
steady.” Looking back, I think that
meant that we ate lunch together and that he held my books at the bus
stop. (These days, it apparently
involves Facetime and Instagram, at least if my 12 year old daughter is
typical. But I digress.)
After about a week of such romantic liaisons, he asked me
out on a Real Date. We were going to go
to a basketball game. Now, I am the girl
who is doing good to know that a basketball game involves a basket and a
baseball game has a pitcher’s mound and football has shoulder pads. In other words, my knowledge of sports ranks
somewhere with my knowledge of the eating habits of indigenous carnivores in
Mongolia. Pretty much nil. But it was A Date, and so I was all in. We’d sit next to each other and he’d teach me
and it would be A Moment. I was certain
of it.
I was wrong. So very
wrong.
As it turns out—which I didn’t actually learn until we
arrived at the gym--he was actually on the basketball team. (Nope, I didn’t know this, mostly because no
one told me!).
So there I am, disappointed to learn that he is not going to
be sitting next to me in a semi-awkward, semi-romantic way. I, however, cope. I will sit by myself, and that is okay
because I am shy and awkward and I can watch him on the floor and pretend like
I know what is happening. I resolve
myself to this. It is good. I can ask him about it later, and we will
bond over reliving the game and him teaching me about the sport.
But no.
He takes me up into the bleachers where I am supposed to sit
– with his parents.
Let me just repeat that:
With. His. Parents.
Parents who I have never met. Who he has told me nothing about. And yet who know pretty much everything there
was to know about me, and proceed to question me about myself for a really,
really, really long time.
Oh. My. God.
Now, I’m sure some other girl would have handled this fine. But I am Uber-Introvert girl, or at least I
was back then.
I swear, it scarred me for life.
Almost as much as our choir director asking me to just lip
sync when I had a role in the high school musical. That, however, is a different story …
About J. Kenner:
Julie Kenner (aka J. Kenner and J.K. Beck) is the New
York Times, USA Today, Publishers Weekly, and Wall
Street Journal bestselling author of over forty novels, novellas
and short stories in a variety of genres.Praised by Publishers Weekly as an author with a “flair for dialogue and eccentric characterizations,” J.K. writes a range of stories including super sexy romances, paranormal romance, chick lit suspense and paranormal mommy lit. Her foray into the latter, Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom by Julie Kenner, is in development as a feature film with 1492 Pictures.
Her most recent trilogy of erotic romances, The Stark Trilogy (as J. Kenner), reached as high as #2 on the New York Times list and is published in over twenty countries.
J.K. lives in Central Texas, with her husband, two
daughters, and several cats.
Carly Phillips
In college, I agreed to go on a Feb 14th date. I
took a trip to Florida the week before and arrived back at school a few days
before the date was planned. Of course, in an effort to look good, I laid out
in the sun while away. I came home and looked great … until my face started
cracking. Not peeling, cracking. It hurt to talk or move my mouth,
to eat and I looked awful. Was there a second date? Yep. And a third and a
fourth … we just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. Still, beware of the
hazards of too much sun before a date.
About Carly
Phillips:
N.Y. Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Carly Phillips
has written over 30 romance novels with contemporary characters and small town
settings that today’s readers identify with and enjoy. She’s a writer, a
knitter of sorts, a wife, and a mom to two daughters (16 and20!) and two crazy
dogs (a 1 year old Havanese named Brady and a 4 year old wheaten terrier named
Bailey). In addition, she’s a Twitter and Internet junkie and is always around
to interact with her readers. Carly lives in Purchase, New York and would love
for you to like and follow her on the ‘Net!
Carly’s Website www.carlyphillips.com
Carly on Twitter www.twitter.com/carlyphillips
Carly on Facebook www.facebook.com/carlyphillipsfanpage
Carly on Pinterest www.pinterest.com/carlyphillips
Caisey Quinn
I was sixteen when I got to go on my
very first *real* date. I was only allowed to go in groups so my boyfriend's
best friend, who was a few years older than us, and his girlfriend went with
us. We went to Applebee's and then bowling. Being the demure young lady that I
was, I figured it best to order salad and a water instead of ribs and a Coke on
my first date. You'd think I would've been safe from making an idiot of myself
with salad and water. You'd be wrong. As soon as my water with lemon was delivered
to the table, I proceeded to squeeze lemon juice into my boyfriend's best
friend's eye by accident. Then the lemon slipped from my fingers and hit him in
the face. He wore contacts, so the acidic juice burned pretty badly. He had to
get up and go to the restroom to rinse it out while the three of us sat there
awkwardly and I prayed for the floor to open up and swallow me.
Thankfully we made it through the
rest of dinner without further incident, but I'm pretty sure my face stayed red
and I think I broke a world record for awkward apologies.
At the bowling alley, my boyfriend
ordered us a large Coke to share--probably assuming this would be safer than
water with lemon. But it came in a giant styrofoam cup that I punctured with my
thumb when reaching for it. So I ended up covering our table in sticky
soda.
We stuck to movies and pizza at our
houses for a while after that. I decided parental chaperones were better than
humiliating myself in public. Now I am married (to someone else, as is my high
school boyfriend) and my husband knows to keep lemons and styrofoam cups far,
far from my reach. Though the friend I nearly blinded still covers his eye when
he sees me out.
About Caisey Quinn:
Debut Indie Author. I write New Adult
books about country girls finding love in unexpected places. <3
Wearer of cowgirl boots, writer and
avid reader of New Adult romance, lover of wine, addicted to chai tea lattes.
Brand spanking new author of soon to be released books including Girl with
Guitar and Keep Me Still (which may or may not include spanking).
Gemini, wife, mom, and former high
school English teacher living in Birmingham, Alabama. I spend my days chasing a
three year old and hiding away with my Macbook. I spend my nights writing
because sleep is overrated.
I love hearing from readers and other
writers, and those freaky hybrids like myself!
Links: